I love my internet friends, they are a random group of people and if we all sat in a room i doubt anyone of us would approach another, give us access to the internet and we would have a blast. One of my friends in particular (and i say friend because we have met and hung out on several different occasions) i adore. Id go as far as to say she is my best friend, one of my best friends ... in the top ten at least.
She is a friend that just "gets" me, we can and do talk about everything. Our most recent conversation started off being about her wanting to go the movies, it ended up involving beauty pageants, missing people and a debate about weather or not hookers drank milk. We plan on doing a lot of things together, currently we are internet dating (with men) ... (we hope) and if that falls through we plan on getting IVF choosing the same donor and giving birth to kids that would be related .... because its totally awesome.
Im been pretty sick lately and on a cocktail of medication so recently i reached out to her in my hour of need and it went something like this:
Me: Im dying
No response
Me: Im ddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggg.
No Response
Me: FINE ill just die alone then
Her:Sorry i was doing something (totally not allowed if you ask me)
Me: To late i am DEAD
Her: So whats hell like?
Her: Or did you make it into Heaven
Me: The devil has a restraining order so i couldn't go there, i certainly haven't been good enough to go to Heaven so im stuck in limbo
Her: Cool
Me: Actually the devil and god are arguing about who has to take me.
Her: Cool, could you ask them what i should do (about Internet Boyfriend (IF)
Me: God says you should dress up nicely go down to your local youth center and volunteer your time, make sure all the homeless are dead.
Me: Oh
Me:FFS
ME: Fed, make sure all the homeless people are fed.
Me: God says do not kill homeless people.
Her: (actually im a little hazy about what she said then but im pretty sure it was) Good to know
Me: The devil says get smashed and spew
Her:Ahuh
Me: Screw ... get drunk and screw
Her: (Nothing cause she was to busy making "the devil says get smashed and spew" her Facebook status)
Thats why i will never be gods messenger (no i dont condone the killing of the homeless on a first date) .... (thats a third date activity at least). (Please dont kill the homeless and try and sue me) and that's why im pretty sure she will be my best friend forever (not that she has a choice ... or even thinks about me that way). Also im very excited cause she is talking to her IB for the first time on Monday and i hope they fall in love and feed homeless people (im also a bit scared that she will because then who will talk about god, hookers, milk and transformers with me) and meanwhile i think my IB has dumped me.
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